Wednesday, January 7, 2009

New Year's Resolutions of a Commitmentphobe

Inspired by my friend dear friend Lisa at, I am going to post my New Year's resolutions in a public place where maybe I'll be more accountable. I realize that this can all sound very trite, so I am trying to keep this to a minimum of goals that are actually achievable.

1. Be more "present" when it comes to the limited time I get with Abby. Between being EXHAUSTED after a long day at work, and her newfound love of actually going to sleep at a reasonable hour, on any given weekday I only get to spend 2 or 3 hours with her. So let's do some quick math--that makes 12.5% of my day. And that's on a good day. But I am so tired all the time (thanks to baby #2) and from dealing with Abby's overnight cries when she does wake up at about 4.
I find that by the time I get home, I am wiped out and it's easy to just put her on the floor to play and zone out. Or count the minutes until she actually goes to bed so I can relax. But I am suddenly very aware that my alone time with Abby is ticking down, and that I need to really engage her and enjoy the time we have just the two of us. I know that I'll love this new baby just as much as I love Abby. But right now, that's hard to imagine. So I want to soak up every last minute that we have together before life gets even more complicated.
2. I need to spend more time with my friends who have kids. It can be hard to find the time (or energy) to make plans, but the result is that I end up feeling isolated. The truth is that I know I'm not the only woman who has ever become a mother and worked full time, but it's nice to have friends to commiserate with.

3. Rob and I really need to spend more quality time together. He has been working really long hours to keep us all afloat. And I have plenty of other stuff going on to keep me busy. But I miss him and I miss who we used to be. And I know it's never going to be the same, I mean, we are somebody's PARENTS now! But I really want to focus on making our limited interactions more meaningful. And we need to find a way to be loving and supportive of each other, even when we are both so stressed and tired.

4. We need to get back to church. I know that God has to be at the center of our lives for anything to work at all. And He still is. But I know that "the devil does his work on Sunday morning." I can always find a reason why we shouldn't go. And our attendance has been hit or miss since Abby has been born. But I want to raise my children in a Christian home, with parents who are solid in their faith and walking the walk. In our busy lives, it might just provide us with the quality family time I've been yearning for. I also find that even if I don't feel like going when we leave the house, after the service is over I am ALWAYS glad that I went. For me, it's always a safe place to put my guard down and be reminded that I don't have to be in charge of everything all the time. And praise God for that.

So there. Like Lisa said, it's out there for everyone to see. Wish me (well, us) luck.


*THE Disneyland Mom* said...

Way to go on posting your resolutions! We'll make an effort to get together more in 2009.

Anonymous said...

I'll help with number 3 and babysit for Ab-ster...


Kelly said...

I also vow to spend more time with Abby. And maybe you too.