Sunday, April 26, 2009

Playing Catch Up

Don’t worry, I’m not dead. I think once you get to the bottom of this post, you’ll understand why I’ve been MIA in blogdom. Here are the brief highlights of the last two weeks:

I had an emergency root canal. I chipped my tooth (in the back) a month or two ago and I guess it got infected. As I was leaving the dentist office with numbface, I got the call from the nurse at my OB’s office. I failed the glucose screening test and had to do the three-hour comprehensive exam.

The next day, still suffering from now painface, I started having contractions at work. I tired to stay calm, but after about an hour I decided I should do something about it. After a quick trip to the fetal monitoring center (which is conveniently across the street from my office) I learned I WAS having real contractions, and not the fakey Braxton-Hicks. But I wasn’t dilating and the contractions weren’t steady or regular. My OB wanted to pull me out of work at that moment, but I begged him to give me until the end of the week to wrap some stuff up at work. Luckily, he wasn’t suggesting full-on bedrest like last time, I just have to find time to “take it easy.” Yeah right, anyone with kids knows that chasing a one-year-old around is anything but relaxing.

The next morning, I had the three-hour glucose screen, where I learned that I had gestational diabetes. Yikes!

I met with a nutritionist that week that walked me through the process of taking my blood 4-5 times a day, and starting a super strict diet. I was trying to stay positive and be diligent, with the faint hope that I wouldn’t need insulin shots.

I was wrong, and last week I started my insulin shots. This may sound lame, but this is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I hate needles. And I’m used to being a human pin cushion, given what I’ve been through the last couple of years. But it’s a whole different ballgame when I actually take the needle (which just looking at it makes me wanna hurl) and mix the insulin, draw the solution into the syringe, and stick it into my baby-filled abdomen. It’s enough to push me over the edge. Right now, I am doing the shots twice a day, and using the lancets to prick my fingers throughout the day. I just tell myself as I wince as stick the needle in that I am doing for the baby. It’s really amazing how much I am willing to endure when I know that it’s for my lil’ baby in there.

But my numbers still aren’t that great, so I have a feeling that after my doctor visit tomorrow, I will either have to increase the dose each time or add more shots throughout the day. I am praying for the former…

I ended up wrapping up as much as I could at work, and signing off until baby #2 is here. I’ve got about another 4 weeks until the scheduled c-section. Hopefully, the diabetes thing will vanish right after the baby is born. I just keep focused on that—I can do anything for four weeks, right?

Between the weekly OB visits, the thrice-weekly, two-hour visits to the fetal monitoring center, the dietician/endocrinology visits and the all-day management of diet, shots and blood-drawing, I am going to be busy. I need to remember that the point of the not working thing is to RELAX. But that’s so much easier said than done. Even though we can’t really afford it, we’re still going to send Abby to daycare during the week so I really can try to get a little R&R.

Just typing the recap is exhausting. I’ll upload some new pics of Abby as soon as I get a minute. For now, there’s a blood glucose meter calling my name…

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Here We Go Again!

On Tuesday night when Abby wanted to sit on my lap (or what's left of it) and snuggle I was immediately suspicious. The only time she is ever affectionate or wants to be held is when she is sick. I knew she was getting yet another bladder infection--even though she just finished her last round of antibiotics last week. She had a low-grade fever but I knew it wasn't just teething again.

Thankfully, yesterday, Granny Nanny came down and was able to take her to the pediatrician for me. I had an emergency root canal on Tuesday morning and with all the other craziness lately, I really couldn't miss any more work.

I felt so guilty that I couldn't take her myself. But I have to admit that I was a tiny bit relieved not to have to endure her getting a catheter again. I know, it sounds so selfish but it's really torturous for me too. The results showed yet another infection! I called the specialist we're waiting to see and am got us bumped up to "overbook," meaning that they are going to make us an appointment but we may have a long wait once we are there.

I hate watching her in pain, and fighting this all the time. Any adult that has had a bladder or kidney infection knows how awful it can be. Awful isn't even the right word.

No kid is meant to be on antibiotics all the time. It upsets her tummy, and has created a twice daily "battle of the wills" between Abby and me when we have to PIN HER DOWN and shove the medicine down her throat. She won't even let me put her on the changing table without whimpering, even though most of the time it's to change a diaper. She now associates it with medication. As weird as it sounds, she's always LOVED having her diaper changed.

I want to waive my magic wand and fix her. It is breaking my heart. But since I can't I am putting out an APB prayer request: we need an appointment with the specialist SOON. Please pray that this is the last infection that she gets between now and that time. Please pray that the doc can think clearly and give us a diagnosis that is fixable and that he's able to give us some answers. Thanks for all of your love and support. I just want my happy little girl back!

Monday, April 6, 2009

The Big C

After a little bit of back and forth with my OB, I have decided to go with a scheduled C-section for punkypoo #2 (who until now, hasn't received more than the occasional shout-out on this blog.)*

I was debating the "other" way for a while, but I am TERRIFIED of a repeat of Abby's induced birth. Let's recap:
-12 hours of labor
-a half-working epidural
-all 10.5 pounds of her that wouldn't squeeze into the birth canal
-the emergency c-section after they lost her heartbeat
-an awful recovery exaggerated by a long and fruitless labor

I know that there is a lot of controversy around this topic, but I truly believe that women's lib should really be a woman having all the information available, then making the decision that's best for her.

And after my futile attempts to breast feed Abby, I have also given myself permission to let this one go too if it doesn't work. I am not prepared for the blood and scabs and if it doesn't work for us, that's okay. I am just going to try my hardest, but not punish myself if it doesn't work out.

So there. As Charlotte says, "I choose my choice."

*I'm sure as it all gets closer, there will be more posts and mentions of the impending little one!