Here We Go Again!

On Tuesday night when Abby wanted to sit on my lap (or what's left of it) and snuggle I was immediately suspicious. The only time she is ever affectionate or wants to be held is when she is sick. I knew she was getting yet another bladder infection--even though she just finished her last round of antibiotics last week. She had a low-grade fever but I knew it wasn't just teething again.

Thankfully, yesterday, Granny Nanny came down and was able to take her to the pediatrician for me. I had an emergency root canal on Tuesday morning and with all the other craziness lately, I really couldn't miss any more work.

I felt so guilty that I couldn't take her myself. But I have to admit that I was a tiny bit relieved not to have to endure her getting a catheter again. I know, it sounds so selfish but it's really torturous for me too. The results showed yet another infection! I called the specialist we're waiting to see and am got us bumped up to "overbook," meaning that they are going to make us an appointment but we may have a long wait once we are there.

I hate watching her in pain, and fighting this all the time. Any adult that has had a bladder or kidney infection knows how awful it can be. Awful isn't even the right word.

No kid is meant to be on antibiotics all the time. It upsets her tummy, and has created a twice daily "battle of the wills" between Abby and me when we have to PIN HER DOWN and shove the medicine down her throat. She won't even let me put her on the changing table without whimpering, even though most of the time it's to change a diaper. She now associates it with medication. As weird as it sounds, she's always LOVED having her diaper changed.

I want to waive my magic wand and fix her. It is breaking my heart. But since I can't I am putting out an APB prayer request: we need an appointment with the specialist SOON. Please pray that this is the last infection that she gets between now and that time. Please pray that the doc can think clearly and give us a diagnosis that is fixable and that he's able to give us some answers. Thanks for all of your love and support. I just want my happy little girl back!

The Big C

After a little bit of back and forth with my OB, I have decided to go with a scheduled C-section for punkypoo #2 (who until now, hasn't received more than the occasional shout-out on this blog.)*

I was debating the "other" way for a while, but I am TERRIFIED of a repeat of Abby's induced birth. Let's recap:
-12 hours of labor
-a half-working epidural
-all 10.5 pounds of her that wouldn't squeeze into the birth canal
-the emergency c-section after they lost her heartbeat
-an awful recovery exaggerated by a long and fruitless labor

I know that there is a lot of controversy around this topic, but I truly believe that women's lib should really be a woman having all the information available, then making the decision that's best for her.

And after my futile attempts to breast feed Abby, I have also given myself permission to let this one go too if it doesn't work. I am not prepared for the blood and scabs and if it doesn't work for us, that's okay. I am just going to try my hardest, but not punish myself if it doesn't work out.

So there. As Charlotte says, "I choose my choice."

*I'm sure as it all gets closer, there will be more posts and mentions of the impending little one!

A little too close to home...

I am a BIG fan of grammar blogs. And while I probably run across enough material to start my own, I just don't have the time. But once in a while, a heinous error hits a little too close to home. My thoughtful husband sent me flowers at work for our anniversary earlier this month. He called 1-800-flowers and placed an order over the phone. When asked what he'd like the card to read, he dictated his sentiment over the phone.

But when the BEAUTIFUL flowers got to my desk, this is what the card said:

I wonder what the customer service rep thought "muchrob" was...

So I'm Not Crazy: Sickypoo Part Two

The pediatrician just called and it turns out lil' Abby DOES have a kidney infection. I guess they sent the cath culture to the lab and it came back positive for a type of bacteria that their office screening kit doesn't pick up.

And in a weird way, it makes me feel better to know that there is really something wrong and that she's not just teething with 103 degree fever every night. Now they are referring us to a fantastic urologist--he's one of ours at CHOC. And I know we're in good hands--he's the guy that wrote the books about pediatric urology that our residents (and others across the globe) study.
Even though her other studies came back fine a few months ago, she's worried that there might be another underlying cause that might be causing these recurrent infections.

Not to play the Monday morning (or Wednesday afternoon) quarterback, but I KNEW there was something wrong. I know it's lame to invoke mother's intuition here, but I would have bet a million bucks that it wasn't just teething. And it feels extra defeating to have a doc tell you that everything is fine with your baby when you know in your heart it's not. I hear it all the time at work--stories of moms who had to fight tooth and nail to get their kid's doc to believe that there really was something wrong, only to find out later that it is something serious that was overlooked or misdiagnosed by the primary care doc. But then again, I only hear the horror stories of the kids that end up in the hospital, so I have to try and keep it in perspective.

This is going to sound so selfish: I am so incredibly tired of her being sick. I'm sure she is too! So bottoms up to yet ANOTHER round of antibiotics.

Little Sickypoo Abbygoo

Abby got a high fever AGAIN yesterday, so I called my folks (since it was an early evening appointment and Rob was stuck at work) and begged them to come with me to take her to the pediatrician. Because she has a history of rip-roaring kidney infections, they usually end up doing a catheter to get a urine sample, since she can't exactly pee in a cup.

I know it isn't a picnic for her, but it is REALLY hard on me too. My job as the "momma" is to simultaneously help the nurses pin her down and try to soothe her. Meanwhile, she is fighting against us, crying and looking deep in my eyes as if to say "Why have you BETRAYED me!!???"

(Grandpa and Abby waiting for the doc to come in.)

I think it's the one-two punch of seeing my lil' baby in so much pain, and the pregnancy hormones racing through my veins. It usually results in both of us crying. It's a pretty sad sight. So my dad agreed to go in with me for emotional support. But when the nurse came to take us to the procedure room, she said that there was only room for one adult. WHAT?!

So my emotional safety net (dad) stayed back and Abby and I went in. I know, I'm trying to kick the bottle habit, but it seemed to help.After all that, it turns out that she doesn't have a kidney infection. Which is a blessing. But with an unexplained high fever, we're just going to "wait and see."

But that might help explain some of her crazy middle-of-the-night antics as of late. We were up again all night last night. But for now, she's conked out. So now I ask, why am I still up typing when I should be sleeping? Just a few more misc photos and I really am off to bed.

Uncle Miles came over for lunch on Sunday. Abby just loves him:) He's so good with kids.

We went to the park around the corner a couple of weekends ago and tried out the swings. It seemed very unsafe so we made sure Granny or Grandpat were within arm's reach. Here she is with her lil' push/ride along toy. She is her father's daughter.

She really likes to find odd places to have a bottle. Exhibit A.

No Wonder Sleep Depravation is Used As a Form of Wartime Torture

Let's face it. Things around here are busy and getting busier. We've had an incredibly busy and hectic month, with lots of ups and downs. I'm not going to lie--I'll be happy to see the month end next week.

Abby is finally teething, which makes me happy (READ: glad that she isn't teething in 11 weeks when we also have a screaming newborn). But I am in a sort of downward spiral. She has stopped sleeping for longer than a two-hour spurt at night. And she doesn't just wake up with a whimper. It's a full-fledged, teary howl that is enough to push even the most sane (which I don't claim to be) mom over the edge. Poor Abby, she's got five teeth coming in all at the same time. I'd be fussy, too.

It isn't like I can look forward and say "at least in June I'll be able to sleep." I am thinking a little more long term, like "when the girls are in college and don't live here anymore, I'll be able to sleep."

But just because she screams and keeps me up all night, it doesn't mean that I get to skip work the next day. Professional Pam is supposed to show up looking put together. In clean, pressed business clothes, and shoes that aren't Uggs or Old Navy flip flops. As my belly grows, it's getting harder to fit into anything that looks presentable, or shoes that fit. And the WORST part is that I have a job that requires focus and brainpower. So the whole half-asleep thing doesn't really fly. But I make it work because I have to--even though by the time Friday night comes, I find myself literally thanking God that I didn't keel over that week.

A dear friend here at CHOC (who shall remain nameless) told me once that she had a plan to shut her office door and take a nap under her desk, a la George Costanza. She would take a handful of paperclips with her so that if someone came in or knocked, she could simply explain that she had dropped the paperclips under her desk and she was picking them up.

I have so many pictures to post, but they are very random and spread out over the last month. I promise to upload some recent pics with some quirky photo captions sometime in the next couple of days. But if you need me in the meantime, I'll just be here under my desk picking up paperclips.

Happy Birthday Little One

Happy Birthday, Abbygoo!

I can’t believe that it’s been a year since you charged into our lives and hearts. To say that we love you is an understatement. You have brought us joy, hope and a closeness we’ve never experienced!

Here’s to another fabulous 99! We love you dearly.

Xoxo,
Mommy and Daddy

Here is a quick recap of how you spent your first birthday:

We were both feeling under-the-weather today with tummy aches. After a very tearful slumber party with the two of us in the spare bedroom, we were very tired this morning. I called the pediatrician, Dr. Cater, and they were able to fit you in. Little did mommy know that they were going to lump your “1 year well visit” into this one, so you ended up pumped full of shots. We were both glad that Granny Nanny was there to lend a hand since mommy wasn’t feeling well, and mommy does not do well with shots.

At first, you were mad. I don’t blame you.

Then, you were a little better.

Once we got home, we both took long naps while Granny Nanny held down the fort. Sometimes mommy needs to be taken care of too:) And when you woke up from your nap, you were very fussy. You little thunder thighs were probably sore from the shots…

I made you a yummy dinner of your favorite finger-sized pastas. You had a good time eating it, you always do.

Then you were very tired.
Once we cleaned up the spaghetti mess, I chased you around the house as you ran in circles. And after Daddy got home from work, you went to bed.

I'll post Uncle Chris's pictures from your party tomorrow, Mommy is tired and has to go to bed. Love you little one. For everyone else, here's the link to Chris's site: http://photos.christopherwrenphoto.com/gallery/7603344_xcEw7#491604784_xVTUk